Define Enough and Design Your Next Chapter with Lance Diaresco (ep. 250)

Lance Diaresco - EDIT - Audio

Adam Coelho 0:16

Lance, welcome to the Mindful Fire Podcast. I'm so thrilled to have you here.

Lance Diaresco 0:19

Thank you for having me, Adam.

Adam Coelho 0:21

Yeah, it's great to have you here, and I've been looking forward to this one for a while. So let's jump right in with a big question that really captures why I wanted to have you on the podcast. How does somebody go from being born into poverty in the Philippines and then rise to the top levels of some of the most iconic corporations in the world, like Google, Disney, and Levi's, only to leave it all behind?

Lance Diaresco 0:44

Yeah, many people ask me the same question. Looking back, I'm grateful for my childhood experience. Not many people know that I actually got my second chance in life Very early, right on my birth. not many people know, in the Philippines, we have this very common public transportation called jeepney. So when my mom was pregnant with me, I was excited to come out. Unfortunately, I came out, and I was not breathing. and the story was the, doctor actually saved my life in the hospital parking lot. So I've been very grateful for the gift of life. And at the age of seven, my dad passed away, and we were four siblings, and my mom have to work hard to support us. And the only way for me to go to school was to get a scholarship. and looking back, I am where I am today because of people who opened the doors for me, from the school principal to, the university president who gave me the total 14-year scholarship, and then people who believe in me, managers who opened doors for me. I at an early age, there was this seed planted in me, desire to be able to give back someday. I don't know what it was, I don't know what it'll be, but I knew I wanted to give back. And my passion, early in my career, was building global brands. That's why I joined P&G first, then Colgate, and then Disney was my childhood dream for 12 magical years. Levi's as a global CMO, and then Google. Yes. ac- across this journey, I can tell later, was I I've been experimenting on ways I could give back. was finally in June 2022, that's when I finally decide to leave my corporate career and follow my own calling. And I moved from Hong Kong to Lisbon.

Adam Coelho 2:31

Very good. And into what you're doing now in this new chapter of, moving from career to calling in a little bit. But first I'd love to just understand Growing up in poverty, losing your dad age seven, understand that you had to step up for your family grow up a lot faster than you might have otherwise. What lessons did you learn in having to take hold of your life step up in that way?

Lance Diaresco 2:54

Yeah. we're four children. I'm the eldest son. And at a very young age, I became the man of the house. I have to protect my sisters, my brother, and I think one of the thing I learned was resilience. I I will find ways to make money while enjoying a scholarship. I also had a vision at a very young age, that optimism in me that, I can create my own life. at a very young age I had that, that in mind. And I growing up without a dad, and my mom working and very busy, I also had to find my own inner compass. So that I think have an impact on what I do today. So it would be resilience, if I think about it, being optimistic, and having that inner compass. if you think about it also, I didn't have many choices. So I have to make sure I make the right call, right? as simple as when I wanna play, I "Okay, I really have to make sure I have good grades to keep my scholarship," right? Or, when I was a, towards the end of high school applying for university, I knew I wanna do architecture, but I "Okay, what's pragmatic, and which university would give me the scholarship and while tapping into a course that, is tapping to my creativity?" So there's a lot of things I have to learn to discern at a very young age, which has really helped me throughout my journey.

Adam Coelho 4:15

Interesting. Did you end up studying architecture or did you study something else?

Lance Diaresco 4:18

No, this is another funny thing. Yeah. and it's a blessing in disguise. I still kept my creative side of me. and back then, when you go into something creative, like architecture back then, people would say, "Oh, there's no money there. aim to become a businessman. Work for the banks." So I went to a business school, and there was scholarship also. and I'm so happy that, I got into marketing as a course, and it's like this is very interesting. That was, I saw the blend of creativity, and the business acumen that shaped me, and that's the reason why I later joined Procter Gamble. Back then, Procter Gamble would claim that invented brand management.

Adam Coelho 4:54

Yeah. No funny. you I see why we get along so well, because you and I have a lot of different things in common. I too almost died when I was born. I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck and- The, doctor ended up saving my life. not in the parking lot luckily, but, I, then I also started college studying architecture. I be an architect, and this room that you're looking at, it was always my dream to design and build a room- It's beautiful that looked like this. Yeah. Luckily, I didn't have to build it, but I still have the urge to design and build my own house. And I study, I decided to stop architecture and went into business.

Lance Diaresco 5:28

Yikes.

Adam Coelho 5:29

I also still always wanted to have that creative side and- Yeah and I think about my, what I do now and what I always wanted to do with the facilitation and things like that is just, architecting experiences and spaces- Yeah and facilitation, I see it very much as like architecting an experience. and then finally goal, at the time when I was in college, was to work for Procter Gamble.

Lance Diaresco 5:50

So much in

Adam Coelho 5:51

common. It's so funny. I, and I didn't end up, I think I didn't get a job at Procter Gamble at the time and but I did apply for a job. and it's funny 'cause this woman, this woman that went to school with me did get a job at Procter Gamble, and then ended up at Google for a while as well.

Lance Diaresco 6:06

Yeah, I also ask the question, "What would have happened to me if I took architecture?" Maybe it would be a completely different life, right? and I'm glad I I decided to pursue business school, because I realized there are other, I discovered other gifts beyond creative. And I, and it wasn't throwing away my creative side. To your point, when you're designing workshop, that's architecting. And in my life- I was like, I, at one point I was saying, I'm redesigning my life." That's being an architect again, right?

Adam Coelho 6:36

Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. That's very cool. so Lance, it sounds like you, were very successful in your first career in, all these global brands and rising to the leadership levels and having a major impact there. But I know that you have a second chapter, and describe it as going from career to calling. And so I'd love to hear the journey for how that shift came to be it wasn't just one pivotal moment where you said, "You know what? I'm quitting my job, and I'm now this." No, it wasn't

Lance Diaresco 7:04

that way.

Adam Coelho 7:04

so how did that evolution happen?

Lance Diaresco 7:07

So from P&G, I joined Colgate-Palmolive, and I had the opportunity from Colgate to move to, from the Philippines to Hong Kong, and I think Hong Kong really opened the doors for me. I remember my GM telling me, back then it was in, yeah, in the, in 1997, I had a vision to work in China because there was a lot of hype about China's speak. And my, RGM told me, "Lance, you're young and single. The best option for you right now is Hong Kong." And I said, "Hong Kong is a city. I wanna

From Career to Calling

Lance Diaresco 7:38

be based in China." He said, "It's too early to move to China." and he said, "You know what? We'll send you for a week in Hong Kong, then we talk." And when, moving to Hong Kong was a eye-opener for me in 1997. It was, cosmopolitan, huge expat community. It was a British colony back then. it was being handed over to China. it was a city, and I was doing regional marketing for Colgate. and then after a year in Hong Kong, I got the offer to work for, Walt Disney. I became the first VP for corporate brand management, Asia Pacific region. It was my dream job. it was 12 magical years at Disney. I was when you're CMO also you're rewarded for your brand equity, market share, profitability, all that. I love my team. And then, but I was, there was always a question within me that, "Is this all?" So I thought Getting a bigger role address my question. So I took a, global CMO role at Levi's, and there's still this deep questioning inside me, "Hey, is this all you really want to do?" again, it was like the, peak of my career. So I decided to take a two-year sabbatical, during that sabbatical, I got into mindfulness. I got more clarity. That's where I also realized that I've met a lot of high achievers and remarkable leaders throughout my career, but I also saw the cause of burnout, loneliness, and, and in my case, that, quiet unfulfillment. And then I had the opportunity to join, Google, why Google? Because I saw importance of the tech industry. And when I joined Google, I decided I want to experiment outside my core job. And just like you, I volunteered to facilitate Search Inside Yourself. I think not many viewers or listeners know what's Search Inside Yourself. it's a emotional and mindfulness leadership training program at Google. I really enjoyed it, and oh, I'm in my element when I'm facilitating this. And I saw the impact in other people, the way it has changed my life when I was doing my sabbatical. And then I started facilitating other program, helping other leaders or managers become better coaches. and I remember during the pandemic, I reach out to my manager and I said, "Hey, I have an idea. I can do coaching full-time," which means leaving my role as head of brand and creative solutions. And she was very open. And, luckily also there was somebody in the US also doing the same thing, and so we collaborated, me and Conrad from the US, and we co-founded Sales Excellence, which I think you had the experience to, be coach or do the practice. Yeah, that was when I saw that, okay, I can do more of this, right? That was a career pivot. And eventually, I wanted to serve the broader community, so I decided to leave Google. And Google was very supportive. Google became my first client. Google Mastery faculty and coach, and then expanded to other past, my past companies also, like Disney, Levi's, and so forth. So I was doing coaching. I enjoyed that, and I continued to experiment, do other things that I enjoyed, like facilitating workshops and doing retreats. Yeah, so it was a very smooth I would say an evolution, experimenting, finding out what I'm passionate about or what lights me up outside my core job. It was very easy. But volunteering, experimenting, and taking sabbatical allowed me to explore other areas, which I doing now.

Adam Coelho 11:16

Very cool. So Lance, a few things stand out to me about what you were saying, and the first is this realization that a lot of people have of is this all? Right? Is this it for my life? I've been working hard, I've been successful in my career, and I've reached this pinnacle of my career only to ask, is this all? Yeah. Is this all there is? And I know you had that realization. So I guess I'm curious, what would you say to somebody who's having that realization?

Lance Diaresco 11:42

But my personal experience, I didn't get the answer every time I asked, "Is this all?" It's a process of self-discovery. And what really anchored me throughout my journey was reconnecting with my values. And our values evolve over time. Growing up in poverty, then having a marketing career at a very young age, my values were back then about growth,

When Success Isn't Enough

Lance Diaresco 12:05

stability, achievement. over time, I saw a shift in me. My values included wellbeing, freedom, and contribution. And I was wondering how can I give back, c- considering that I got my scholarship and people opened doors for me, and I'm here because a lot of people helped me. That contribution was has been a big question, and that's why when I took the sabbatical, I was volunteering across four continents. In Africa was wildlife conservation. I helped build schools in Nepal, Myanmar. Yeah, I was thinking about maybe it's about being part of an NGO. But I realized it wasn't the path for me. I saw the opportunity for me to give back was helping other leaders who are going through the same process as me, As I mentioned earlier, I saw leaders who burn out, who are, lonely or feeling unfulfilled, and they are in their inflection point whether it's, reinventing themselves or are taking a, bigger role or pivoting their career. So I said, "Okay, this is a sweet spot for me. I got my clarity, and this is aligned with my values of giving back, and still very consistent with what I'm good at, having the opportunity to practice coaching and facilitating workshops." It all just eventually came together. So to, my advice to everyone is hang on to that question, experiment, be open, be curious, and then you'll gain clarity over time.

Adam Coelho 13:39

Yeah, I love that. And interesting 'cause I was listening to a podcast yesterday, the Choose FI podcast. they had guest on, his name's Fritz Gilbert, and he has been early retired for eight years now. Yeah. And the two words that he says He keeps top of mind are curiosity and experimentation, and that has really been my path as well, right? I, had my dream job at Google and these things, and I always had this question in the back of my mind, "Is this it? Is this- Yeah this is what I worked so hard for?" "Why do I feel unfulfilled?" And so I think m- I'd add mindfulness picture as well. Absolutely. mindfulness leads to that self-awareness and that self-discovery, and allows you to see, what is the story I'm telling myself? What are these thoughts that I'm feeling, thinking, and the emotions that I'm feeling? And then that curiosity, that kind, curious awareness, as I call it, leads to, what do I actually want, and what could I try- Yeah that would help me move forward? And that's where experimentation comes in, actually trying the thing.

Lance Diaresco 14:40

Absolutely, because, in my personal experience, I'm so grateful I I got into the practice of mindfulness. It's, it's become my way of life. part of mindfulness is asking the question, right? creating that space to honor that question. Sometimes it's not just right away responding to the question. Sometimes it's allowing that question to sit. allowing that space. Let it sit, and then,

Mindfulness, Curiosity, and Experimentation

Lance Diaresco 15:02

also listening to yourself. that's where that discernment piece also comes my mind, the importance of discernment. It's got, once you have that mindfulness practice, you clear your lens, and you begin to notice also what are your fears? What are your motivation? What are my, for, in my case, for example, as is my motivation when I ask, "Is this all? What am I looking for?" So I go deeper and deeper, and then what am I afraid of? Or I knew back then my there was resistance within me because, our brain is wired to, make us want to feel safe. So I was not willing to take a big leap. So I, in my case, it was more like a gradual pivot, right? A boat, like a few degrees. I tried to experiment. I worked for different industry. I volunteered. I, I went on sabbatical. and over time, that questioning and listening eventually gave me that clarity, and with clarity comes the courage to make the bigger move.

Adam Coelho 16:05

Yeah, I really love how you said, it takes time. It doesn't all happen at once. And I find myself wanting it to happen all at once. We all do, right? like we, we all want it- We all do we all wanna be at the finish line right away, but that's just not how it works, right? These things take time, and that's what I always say about envisioning having- a vision for your life. It's like you don't get to control how or the when. Yeah. You can just control what you want and why you want it- and just keep it top of mind and orient your mind and, as I talk about, plant seeds of the, new story that you're trying to create. But you don't get to control when or how it happens.

Lance Diaresco 16:40

No.

Adam Coelho 16:40

And I think that, that self-discovery it takes a long time. I'll speak for myself. this month I'm two years into this early retirement chapter.

Lance Diaresco 16:49

Yes.

Adam Coelho 16:49

And I had a pretty clear vision of what I wanted, and I'm still figuring it out. I'm still finding the right rhythm and balance you know, what's the top priority- in this season of life and all of that.

Lance Diaresco 17:00

Yeah, you're not alone. it's the same for me, people thought like, "Wow, Lance, able to take the big leap," and I said, "It's actually not a big leap." It was a, slow progression. And even though I was very clear of my values and my vision, that's why it gave me the courage to move also from Asia to Europe, start a new life- I still continue to calibrate, right? again, after more than 30 years in corporate, I knew what has worked for me. I have my own patterns. best practices and operating system. There is the, this unlearning part. Unlearning what has worked for me before may no longer work for me. And being curious and being able... So for example, let me give you a, very specific example. It was so easy for me to focus on coaching as soon as I left Google. and I have several clients, I was enjoying it and said, "Okay, I'll do coaching and facilitating workshops." But I realized that coaching is very high touch. And it's not very scalable. And I asked myself, do, how many clients do I wanna coach that were, whom all of them can get the best of me? I I decided, it's not gonna be 20 clients at the parallel. I made a deliberate choice to only have five clients in, at the same time, right? That helps me, nurture my inner state, where my clarity comes, and I'm able to give them my best. So when I experimented that, I realized it was more effective, and it gave me space to experiment and do other things like speaking engagements, doing retreats, which I really enjoy, like in person- engaging, the leaders. and now I also have space to write a book, and I'm turning 60 in six months, and I'm still learning, and growing with discernment. Experimenting, trying out new things, and see what, lands. At the end of the day, I'm very clear, like my definition of success and I go back to, do I have joy, love, and peace in my life,

Adam Coelho 19:01

How

Lance Diaresco 19:01

I measure that is how much joy do I have doing the work? And how deeply I connect with people I serve, that's love. And very easy is peace, is how well do I sleep at night? Like

Adam Coelho 19:14

Yeah, that's a good barometer.

Lance Diaresco 19:16

Yeah, very different way of measuring the quality of life. So I experiment, do different things, but I always think about, okay, I feeling in terms of love, joy, peace?

Adam Coelho 19:25

Yeah, I love that, keeping those values top of mind. think it's really cool how you were talking about that our values shift over time, right? What we care about when we're 20 is not what we care about when we're 40 or 50.

Lance Diaresco 19:37

Yeah.

Adam Coelho 19:37

when you have a family, your values change, your priorities change, right? that right now, and I'm, balancing this desire to make an impact to build a business- with the desire to be a good father. And those things aren't always aligned, right? And they can be, but if one becomes more of a focus than the other, can pull away from it. And- I think for me, I'm realizing that being a great father is the top priority. and I think that's a little scary 'cause it's hard, right? I love it. These, these kids, they don't listen to anything I say. So it's a little tricky, to do that and to have that patience, but that is the work for- yeah the stage that I'm at in my life. And the business is, challenging in some ways as well, but it feels like that's more... I don't know. I've been putting a lot of focus on that this year and over the, over the last year or so. I mean, it's not like I'm neglecting my kids. Obviously, I'm here all day, every day. But I think that for me, it's oh, wait, this is actually the bigger priority. Like, design my days and my week- so that is the priority? And over this past, several months of the summer I have... there was a period of time where I was, going pretty hard at trying to fill up a group coaching program. It didn't happen 'cause the summer is tough and whatever. But I was like, let me, I don't need to be, chasing this. Yeah. I can just focus on my kids. My, I spent a lot of time with my son. Monday was the last day of summer so instead of stacking my day with meetings having the kids go to a camp or hang out with the nanny, I spent time with them, and we went to Topgolf and we went to lunch, and then we- Right built a fort in the afternoon. And it's it's just a, choice that I get to make to reprioritize my life and redesign my life, as we talked about when we were- Yeah talking about architecture, at any point, right? That's where I think, that's why I think mindfulness is so important in life in general, but especially in this pursuit of early retirement stepping into a new chapter that you get to design as you want. Not everything's gonna work out the way you think it is.

Lance Diaresco 21:48

Absolutely.

Adam Coelho 21:48

And so mindfulness allows you to have that awareness of something's a little off, something feels a little bit, misaligned. So let me- Sure investigate that, get curious, and then experiment with a new way of doing things.

Lance Diaresco 22:01

You said something about, being a the father and the business, And what came out very clear to me was the difference of being and doing. And how you prioritize the being part. and that's where mindfulness, uh, really helped me. And there's something also when you were describing, how you make choices. there's one word that I also invented from unlearning, is enoughness. Right? what is enough, right? that enoughness means that balance between the drive and contentment. if you go full drive, you get burnout. If you go full contentment, you're probably settling. So that, delicate discernment and balance between the two, right? And that's anchored by your values. value my being my son dad, right? And with this experience I had that really, create a shift in me was when I was volunteering, in Nepal, and I was leading a team of friends from different parts of the world climb, Mount Everest Base Camp. And, our goal was to raise funds for the school in Nepal that we were supporting. And along the journey, I remember this,

Enoughness and the Nepal Story

Lance Diaresco 23:02

we were passing a temple, an old temple, and there was a little boy came out, and he had flowers on his hands. And he just giving away flowers to every hikers. And I kneeled down and asked him, When you grow up, what do you want to be?" And his response was, I want to be kind like my teacher." That cracked me open. It was like, I realized it was not... It was more about being again. Who are you becoming more than your accomplishment, right? And that stick with me, who are you becoming, and I keep on asking the same question. If the, question before was, is this all, it transformed to who are you becoming in the process, Lance? and then other questions came out also, right? How are how are you connecting, right? Then how are, am I contributing? So all these three questions became framework I eventually use in my work today.

Adam Coelho 23:54

Yeah. Yeah, that I read that in, something that you shared before we recorded this, and I just had goosebumps instantly when I read that, and when I heard you just say it again. there's so much in our lives that we're striving, we're trying to accomplish things. We're trying to pay the bills. We're trying to improve ourselves, It's, never-ending, and yet a child just wants to be loved, be kind- Yeah connect. It's so simple, and yet I feel like I overcomplicate things so much. the, mindset affirmations that I'm practicing is I wanna be patient, curious, and kind. Or present, curious, and kind with those I love. if I just cultivated showing up in that way and used that as my success metric- Everything would be more peaceful and easeful and everything. And but I just let the day get away from me- Yeah and let the desire to build this business seek validation from other people and all these things, cloud that out a little bit, but it's really that simple.

Lance Diaresco 24:55

It is. and I look back also, I remember back then, I have a funny ritual before when I was working at Disney. I would put the business card when I'm traveling, insert it in my passport. And when I go to the customs and immigration and they open the passport, they would see my business card, and there's Mickey Mouse there, and they would smile. And I felt good about it. They would smile. Yep. And then they ask what you do, good icebreaker I also noticed that back then, my, identity was very much anchored by my title as CMO and a company I work for. I'm grateful for that experience. it opened doors for me. The risk was very much like I'm defined by what I do. And I remember Chip Conley said this, "If you don't know who you are, you become what you do." And so when I, that experience, trekking Mount Everest base camp and hearing that child say, I want to be kind like my teacher," that created big shift in me. And then listening it from an innocent child, right? They know what kindness is and the impact of kindness, and that's why, that's why I start asking, "How can I contribute?" And- and starts from how we show up.

Adam Coelho 26:07

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And you've mentioned this a few times, this idea of contribution being a core value of yours and going back to when you were a kid in the Philippines. And we talked a little bit before about how you moved from career to calling, and you also moved from Hong Kong to Lisbon. And so tell us about what life looks like now. You're in this new chapter- you're focused on contribution. Walk us through looks like.

Lance Diaresco 26:33

Yes. You teach, you facilitate envisioning exercise, so I did the same process for me. I envision what would life look like when I start my own practice. And I'm very grateful to be able to move from Hong Kong to Lisbon. It's now been four years-

Adam Coelho 26:50

Wow

Lance Diaresco 26:50

in Lisbon. yes, and I have this- vision that I want a healthier and happier lifestyle. That was, like, the thing, right? I sleep well, I love my, what I do, and I'm having quality time with my loved ones. So today, I have my ritual, my morning practice. I go to the gym, walk to the gym every day. it's either gym or swim. and then I do the work, either coaching or workshops or writing my book. a more balanced life. I would say it's a, more an integrated life, right? I

Designing an Integrated Life

Lance Diaresco 27:22

doing what I love, I'm able to help other leaders and other companies. I am able to enjoy pursuing my passion points, like traveling still. we talk about creativity. Now I went back to painting again. Oh, good. right? So creativity feeds my soul, right? So- it's really, the ikigai coming to life, right? Doing what I love, what I'm good at, being paid for what I do, and it's being of service

Adam Coelho 27:49

Very cool. Very cool. And I know you mentioned this word a bunch of times as well, discernment. So what is discernment and how is it showing up in the work that you're doing and how you're living your life these days?

Lance Diaresco 28:02

Yeah. So in a nutshell, discernment is being able to see clearly, right? What is real and what matters to you most, and being to, able to act courageously. So the clarity and the courage, right? Discernment to me is like the lens, how we look at things or our view of the world. And a lot of times, our lens is filtered with our motivation, our fear, our pattern, our emotions, right? So just being aware, we talk about awareness, right? Being mindful of your inner state and what is influencing or shaping your perspective, that in itself is the first step, right? That inner state. and then being able to say also, What am I missing?" Asking the deeper questions. In my case, my life, I asked, it started with, Is this all?

What Discernment Means

Lance Diaresco 28:51

Who am I becoming? I contributing?" Asking deeper questions and challenging myself, right? and it's easy also to do what I'm comfortable, right? and because our brain is wired to keep us safe, do what's comfortable or what we're, or go back to our patterns. part of my discernment is then taking action and making changes and it's a continuous process. It's a continuous growth. Remaining curious and, experimenting and do what I can be, and experiment how I can be of more service to others.

Adam Coelho 29:22

Very cool. Very cool. And yeah, you mentioned this inner compass these questions of who am I becoming, how am I connecting, how am I contributing. How would you- think of somebody who's preparing to make the transition into this next chapter of their life. Maybe they're going from career to calling, or they're just stepping into a new chapter of, early retirement, whatever that looks like for them after saving and investing for many years. How would you coach somebody or advise somebody on using that inner compass and those three questions to live into that next chapter?

Lance Diaresco 29:56

Oh, yes, absolutely. tho- those three questions, I simplified them into three words. Me, we, world, right? Easy to remember. That's clarity, trust, and contribution or impact Me, we, world compass. and how it's been very helpful to the people I help or coach, especially in their inflection point, is really working inward first, right? Working on their inner state, having that clarity of your values, what you're good at, what is your mission or vision in life, right? So it's a process of self-discovery. And I, in my own personal experience, my values evolved, right? Yeah. And my priorities also change along that- right? So having that clarity. Now, it's, think about that, that first piece, like the me part of who am I becoming, it's really about your character, right? and self-leadership. And then the second part is how am I connecting? That's where, you think, you go

The Me–We–World Compass

Lance Diaresco 30:53

beyond team. You think about how are you connecting with people who are important to you, your family, right? loved ones, your friends, right? So it's expanding that circle. And what is the impact you're creating in your life, right? So a lot of these self-discovery questions are exploring possibilities. It's probably very similar to what you do with your visioning, right? Giving them the prompts, looking at their strengths, what excites them, what, and what areas in their relationship do they wanna work with, and then making those choices, right? and then the contributions usually, I always ask them to start with their immediate circle of influence. You don't have to leave your job to make a contribution, right? You don't have to leave. I started by volunteering, right? I took a sabbatical or I volunteer coaching and facilitating workshop. Do something, or even helping your colleagues. That's also contribution. Then over time, some people are called to to do something outside current job, right? That was my experience. For others, they do excellent, ways of contributing beyond your, revenue and profitability, creating positive impact in their community, right? The business create change in your, the world because of your strategic decisions. So there are different ways on how you do that. So again, going back to me, we, and world, they're interconnected. It's not a milestone you reach. It's a choice you make every day. Just being conscious about me, the we relationship in the world, what's your contribution?

Adam Coelho 32:21

Yeah, I love that. framework because yeah, how am I connecting with myself? How am I connecting with others showing up-

Lance Diaresco 32:28

Yeah

Adam Coelho 32:28

for others? And then how am I contributing beyond my immediate, family whatever within the family, right? Yeah. Like showing up good father and really prioritizing that is a really important way that I'm be contributing to the world because my kids are gonna go off and have lives of their own and impact people- Exactly every day.

Lance Diaresco 32:46

Yeah, I also think about my old language, in the past was very much I need work-life balance, and I couldn't find the balance. I go, "This is not working for me," even though I set the intention that I- went going to the gym before going to work, all this. I failed many times trying to find a balance.

Adam Coelho 33:02

Yeah.

Lance Diaresco 33:02

But I thought it was, not work-life balance, but work-life integration. like finding what is a simple way that you can ask yourself three simple questions every day As you practice mindfulness, just be conscious that. And I also thought about, w- without me, we lose ourselves. And I saw that in me. I was, growing up in poverty, the, while I was resilient and hardworking, I also became a hyper-achiever. And my, self-worth was dependent on external validation. So I was I learned at a very young age that I need to protect the me. That's self-leadership. And the, without the we, our relationships fall apart, and I see that a lot amongst successful people. When I say successful, it's being successful at work or business at the expense of their relationships, right? I love what you say, you, it's very important the being the father, aside from the business, right? being, part. And then the third piece is I think about, without the world, even our biggest success can feel empty. And that goes back to my early questions going, in the early in my career, I would ask myself, "Is this all?" And what I knew, the reason why I was asking those question was I needed to find more meaning. And it may not be leaving the job, but finding ways to contribute beyond my current scope of work or beyond my company, right? So finding ways to contribute be honest, that's where I felt I I sleep better. the sense of peace. Because you sleep better when you realize that you're able to do something meaningful.

Adam Coelho 34:35

Yeah. I think that's what everyone's really hoping for life in general, but also especially in the post-work, early retirement, whatever that looks like for them. wanna feel a sense of meaning. Yeah. It's not like they just wanna, have nothing on their calendar and just watch TV all day or play golf every day. And having a sense of meaning still, And that might be, I've talked to people who that's, having their, watching their grandkids, have- Yeah spending time with their grandkids and helping son or daughter, by doing that. Some people, this, the guy on the podcast yesterday, he's- Him and his wife started a nonprofit where they're building fences for dogs that are on a chain, in rural Appalachia, where the dog's been on a chain its whole life and running in a circle, can't even enjoy the grass. They go and they help those people by building a fence in their yard so that dog can have fun a new level of freedom for the dog and, for the family. and so there's all sorts of ways to, find that meaning. and it might take some time. It might take some iteration and then some experimentation, and that's okay.

Lance Diaresco 35:35

And I- and that's part of growth. Yeah. It's like how do you... That's why I say turning 60 in six months and I'm still learning and growing, right? And that's why there's joy in my life because I'm discovering new things, right? Yeah. I volunteered in my sabbatical, but now I also do other volunteer work, and I try to spice it up, to do different things, right?

Adam Coelho 35:57

Yeah. Yeah. great, and I... that gives me It makes me feel good and better about where I'm at. Because I, my brain wants to tell me, You should be further along. You should be figuring this out," blah, blah, blah. Like- you should, as they say, shoulding all over myself. But-

Lance Diaresco 36:13

I felt the same way I'm guilty of that, too, until I had to say, "Okay, Lance, who are you becoming?" How are you connecting? How are you contributing? Because I was... Yeah, that, you talk about this, operating system, right? Our- our pattern, what, which worked for us. Hey, are you on track? That's how I always measure. Are you on track? How are you hitting? Are you on target? Are you the right pace? And I was like, I was so biased speed. And I realized I have to slow down-

Adam Coelho 36:36

Yeah

Lance Diaresco 36:36

enjoy life more, and having that space to ask the right question, or else I'm just going I always say, speed is not always... Being faster is not always better.

Adam Coelho 36:47

Yeah. Not if you're running in the wrong direction.

Lance Diaresco 36:49

Exactly. It's it's like taking the wrong train and- Yeah saying this is better because it's faster.

Adam Coelho 36:54

Yeah, that's a great point. That's a great point. At some point you gotta ask, "Am I on the right train?"

Lance Diaresco 36:59

Exactly. That, because it's similar to our lives, we're so busy with that. Are we solving the right problem? Is this really the most important thing right now for me?

Adam Coelho 37:08

Yeah. That's, again, where the mindfulness comes in, it's- Yeah yeah, important. so Lance, let's shift gears now into the Mindful Fire Final Four. Are you ready?

Lance Diaresco 37:16

Sure.

Adam Coelho 37:16

All right. So the first question is all about vision and envisioning. We talk a lot about envisioning and thinking big about what we want for our life and our next chapter. And so I'm curious, it's, what is your big vision over the next, say, three to five years?

Lance Diaresco 37:32

Yes. I am writing a book about discernment. I think it's one of the most important leadership skill, we need today, especially in the age of AI. so I'm excited about that. I always have this question about imagine if we have more discerning leaders in organizations, in government, in academe, right? So I'm excited about that. Two is I would love to do more retreats. so didn't mention to you, part of being able leave the corporate is I made smart investment at a young age, right? So I own my property here in Lisbon, in Hong Kong. I also

The Mindful FIRE Final Four

Lance Diaresco 38:07

bought a land in Indonesia, and I want to turn it into a, retreat center someday.

Adam Coelho 38:14

Oh. Another thing we have in common.

Lance Diaresco 38:17

Yes.

Adam Coelho 38:17

Maybe from the early desire for architecture.

Lance Diaresco 38:20

So I, when I was, it's called this, Samara Lombok. And when I was very fun experience because when I was sharing this, vision I had with the property developer, they said, We have a better land for you." The land was not for sale, but because I I shared that vision- they gave me a plot of land on top of the hill overlooking the sea. so I'm excited about creating that. Yeah, and, I'm very happy with my new chapter in Lisbon, right? I have this deeper sense of fulfillment, and to me, that's enough. and what I'm very excited more is, how can I do, share my message broadly through a book and have deeper experience as well through retreats?

Adam Coelho 38:59

I love it. Yeah I am thinking about all of those things as well. But I'm also already overwhelmed with all the things I, ideas I have, so I need some discernment in deciding which I want to put my effort towards. But one of the big things I've been thinking about is just, writing more.

Lance Diaresco 39:15

Yeah.

Adam Coelho 39:16

clarifying my thoughts, it's all swirling around my mind, and I have these great conversations like this where some of the ideas come out. But I think sitting down at the page writing, would be very, very useful, and I definitely have a desire to share stories and messages a book of some sort. And- very much love, the idea of hosting retreats, as we both love facilitation. so that will be pretty cool. maybe we'll facilitate something together at

Lance Diaresco 39:41

some point. Yeah. I thought about, like if... how fantastic would it be to be able to have retreats in Europe, in Americas, and in Asia, right? So I have three, three base. And you go where the people are.

Adam Coelho 39:53

I have thought that as well. in Europe, There's this place called Noah's Surf House. Have you heard of it?

Lance Diaresco 40:00

Not yet.

Adam Coelho 40:01

No. It's like hour and 15 minutes north of Lisbon.

Lance Diaresco 40:04

Ericeira area probably.

Adam Coelho 40:05

Maybe, yeah. It's, it's, like, on the ocean. it's, just a beautifully designed space and they have, like, a yoga studio looking, overlooking the ocean. it's a beautiful place. I've never been. I would love to host a retreat there.

Lance Diaresco 40:17

Yeah. There are so many options in Portugal now.

Adam Coelho 40:21

Really? A lot of people building retreats in

Lance Diaresco 40:23

those- A lot, um, retreats, Now aside from Portugal the mainland, you have also the Madeira and the- Azores

Adam Coelho 40:29

Azores.

Lance Diaresco 40:30

Yeah. Uh, I've done two retreats in Azores. Now I'm looking for new venues in-

Adam Coelho 40:35

That you hosted? You hosted yourself?

Lance Diaresco 40:37

I co- co-facilitated.

Adam Coelho 40:39

Okay. Nice.

Lance Diaresco 40:40

And then here is, I'm thinking about somewhere... Yeah, there are so many options. Yeah. Um, yeah, uh, like I... Because in fact, I'm thinking about weekend retreats, right? Very short. Weekend. Weekend.

Adam Coelho 40:50

Yeah

Lance Diaresco 40:50

because people are working, then you have they, they start Friday night and leave Sunday afternoon. Yeah. And you can find those places easily in Portugal.

Adam Coelho 40:57

Really? There's just more availability for that?

Lance Diaresco 40:59

More availability, yeah.

Adam Coelho 41:01

Yeah. People are working so they

Lance Diaresco 41:02

can- Exactly. How do you make it easy-

Adam Coelho 41:04

Yeah,

Lance Diaresco 41:05

I know without having to book a plane? Just drive.

Adam Coelho 41:06

Yeah.

Lance Diaresco 41:07

Yes.

Adam Coelho 41:07

Yeah, no, that works people in Portugal for sure. In, in Europe, you can get around pretty easily in Europe- Yeah very cool. The second question, Lance, is what piece of advice would you give to someone early on their path to financial independence?

Lance Diaresco 41:18

Make smart investment the reason why I'm able to to leave corporate early is that I invested in properties. I talk about owning a place in Hong Kong, and now in Lisbon, and also in Lombok, Indonesia, right? So having those property, and then renting, I rent out my place in Hong Kong, so I have passive income.

Adam Coelho 41:38

Yeah.

Lance Diaresco 41:38

I'm not paying mortgage in, in Lisbon. So I- that's because I invested. I also invested in companies, startups. So I w- yeah, to me it's one advice is invest I have my savings, but I put a lot of my s- my in, on in- on investments.

Adam Coelho 41:52

Yeah. Makes sense. Makes sense. And yeah, I I have not built wealth through real estate, but I know my, my parents built wealth through real estate. I know a lot... It's a huge avenue for people in the fire community as well. it- the point is invest your money because it's not gonna grow if it's just sitting there- Yeah In, in a checking account. And yeah, I'm a huge fan of the, The Simple Path to Wealth. We had the author of that, J.L. Collins, on the podcast a couple of times. And yeah, but just invest your money. It makes sense.

Lance Diaresco 42:20

Yeah. It... Before I moved to Lisbon, I also did my math, right? What is... I had my vision. I want a healthier lifestyle while doing the work I love. What w- how much do I need? What is enough? And so there was no pressure for me because I have passive income through my r- rent- Rent income in Hong Kong, and other investments. So anything I do is extra, so there's no pressure. A- again, because it very could be different for other people 'cause I'm single, right? But I still support my siblings in sibling's family in the Philippines. Yeah, so yeah, doing that in- investment early, knowing how much do you, what, how much is enough for you really with the new income-

Adam Coelho 42:59

Yeah

Lance Diaresco 43:00

And sticking with your plan.

Adam Coelho 43:02

Yeah. I love it. The third question is, what piece of advice would you give to someone getting started with meditation and/or mindfulness?

Lance Diaresco 43:09

Consistency. Consistency. If you miss it, it's okay, just continue practicing. one tip I could do give is attach it with something you already do. And I knew this because I, how I started was I would meditate before my breakfast, right? So I attach it, and now I continue to do that, and then I, I start short, focus on my breath, and I would set my intention in the morning. Eventually, when I was a- that's how I started during my sabbatical. And then during at C- at Google, I remember I have this break also that after lunch I would ask my, I will focus on my breath again and ask a simple question: How am I showing up? And then at night I will then do the same short practice and I'll ask myself, what am I grateful for? what did I learn today? So start small, see what works for you to create a habit that touches you with something you enjoy doing or you have to do. And just start with focusing on your breath

Adam Coelho 44:08

Simple as that

Lance Diaresco 44:09

Simple.

Adam Coelho 44:10

Yeah, I love it. and the last question, Lance, is how can people find you online, connect with you and learn more about what you're up to in the world?

Lance Diaresco 44:16

Yes follow me on LinkedIn. That's one way, or connect with me. And if you wanna know more about what I do is, check out my website, diaresco.com. And you'll find out more about the book I'm writing, which is on discernment, and I'll keep you posted through my website.

Adam Coelho 44:31

Very good. Go check that out and connect with Lance on LinkedIn. I will have all of that in the show notes below this, so you can have those links nice and easy. Thank you so much, Lance, for being here and sharing your wisdom and experience with the audience.

Lance Diaresco 44:44

I love it. Thank you so much for having me.

Adam Coelho 44:46

It's a pleasure.